Aug22

The Secret to Happiness

by Ben on August 22nd, 2011 at 12:24 pm
Posted In: Happiness

Does happiness influence your life?

How happy are you?

And how can you increase your happiness?

Happiness noun  /ˈhapēnis/

State of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy

Do you know that happiness not only affects how you feel and your state of mind, but also how successful you are, how healthy you are and how long you will live? So overall happiness is a important factor in how we life.

Some of the beliefs that we have about the cause of happiness is flawed though.

Money – One of the first ticks on almost everyone’s happiness list is not the answer.

In a study done by it was found that none lotto winners actually have a heads up on the winners, as the non-winners take more joy from small everyday things. And during a poll of the Forbes 40 richest people in the world, they ranked their happiness only marginally higher that the average person.

In fact – it seems that as soon as soon as the necessities are covered our happiness factor becomes dependant on other factors.

Short term happiness can be increased by buying ourselves a new car or house, but because we as humans get used to something so quickly the boost in happiness is only temporary.

So what does cause happiness?

Studies have shown that about 50% of our happiness is programmed in genetically 10% of our happiness is generated by general circumstances (education, background ect)

And the good news is that 40 % of our happiness is set by our day to day behaviour.

So what about “Positive Thinking”?

Research show that thought suppression tends to increase depression angst and worry.

A great example of this is the phrase “Don’t think of a pink elephant”

As soon as you try to suppress the thought, a picture of a pink elephant enters your mind.

More than 20 years of research have shown that this happens A short term solution to the Positive Thinking scenario is to distract yourself by keeping busy with your day to day tasks.

(My view of Positive thinking is to start asking better questions: Not why does this always happen to me, Instead: How can I make sure this doesn’t happen again)

There have been a lot of research done in the art of happiness and in the next post I will start sharing some of these with you.

Leave a comment, and give me your methods of staying happy

Be Motivated Today – To get to a Happy place

PS. Long term happiness can be helped by:

A Pencil

Keeping a Perfect Dairy

Carry out small acts of kindness

The Gratitude Attitude

But more in my next posts.

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Jul26

Leaders are Readers

by Ben on July 26th, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Posted In: Personal Growth

“True leaders initiate their own learning.” Myles Munroe

You can chop down a tree with a hammer (it will take you a while, but you can do it), but if you use an axe, that will make a HUGE difference. Swap your hammer for an axe, and start saving time and making progress.

A true leader is someone that leads their field. He understands that knowledge is the key to progress, and therefore he never stops learning.

He is on a continuous path of progress.

This progress results in best practice, releasing his potential and impacting the world. By reading, listening, attending workshops and even by listening to other people, he builds his knowledge and skills base.

Books are Gold

By reading for 1 hour a day in your field you read approximately one book per week. That translates to about 50 books per year.

Taking into consideration that the average person reads only 1 book per year and you realize that you are building a lead that they never will be able to close.

And don’t forget about audio programs.

By listening to a course and an audio book in your car you can complete a full time college years in the same time in your car.

Start today by looking for a book or audio course that will help you achieve your main gaol in life. Make time to read and learn, increase you knowledge and sharpen your skills. Be open to all people who have something to offer.

Learn from young and old alike, and apply what you have learnt, help those you lead and improve your community.

Be Motivated Today – To Learn something new

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Jul11

The Boy Scout Moto

by Ben on July 11th, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Posted In: Life

How well are you prepared for the unfortunate happenings in your life?

On Thursday evening my little girl fell ill.

At bed time she started crying, saying “eina” (ouch) every few minutes. Mommy and me both tried to comfort her. Put on the “sick” sweater and held her against me, but nothing helped.

So on Friday I went to the doctor.

And to the x-ray department

And to the sonar department.

And to the pediatrician.

And then they told us : “We need to book her onto the hospital.

Now in South Africa you have 2 choices when it comes to hospitals. State owned and private hospitals.

State owned hospitals means that you sit there for up to 36 hours before you are booked into a overcrowded hall with not enough nursing staff to see to all the patients – But costs are very low to nonexistent

Private hospitals are expensive, but you get great service, 1 to 2 beds to a room and enough nursing staff to see to your needs when you need help.

Luckily I have medical insurance. Sometimes I wonder why I pay that monthly amount when I could be using it to pay of dept, invest or simply spend it. But this weekend showed my why I pay it.

We where booked in in about 30 minutes. Zoe had her first treatment for the pain within 90 minutes of us starting the booking in procedure. We had a room all to ourselves. A private bathroom. A small TV with a wide choice of programs to keep all of us entertained during the next few days. 3 meals and 2 coffee rounds per day.

We were looked after really well.

By Saturday afternoon, Zoe started to feel a lot better and by Sunday she was fine. We still had a full scan done on Monday to make sure that there is nothing wrong with her hips. And then we went home.

Tired and thankful to get into our own beds.

But even more thankful for the medical aid. I could afford to keep my little girl save, warm and well looked after – because I was prepared.

That’s why I pay these fees every month – Medical aid, Life insurance, Life Term on my home.

Because I want to be prepared for life.

Are you prepared for the knocks that life hand out?

Be Motivated Today – To Be Prepared.

PS. Thanks for all the mails and facebook messages. Zoe is fine, it seems that she might have fallen a bit hard somewhere, but she is her usual adorable self again.

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Jun29

Reassess your Life

by Ben on June 29th, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Posted In: Life

What does a frog, a dirty nappy, bread and coffee have in common.

More than you think

Earlier this week, a fellow South African blogger Theuns Serfontein published a post about gratitude. I would like to add to that post by using a frog, nappy, bread and some coffee.

You have no doubt heard what happens to a frog if you throw it in hot water – It does everything it can to get out. But throw it in cold water and heat the water slowly, and our frog will keep swimming until the heat paralyzes it and it boils

The same happens when your little one has a dirty nappy. You smell that foul thing and change it immediately. But sometimes you are so busy chasing her around to get the new nappy on that you forget about the old one that fell of the bed and rolled under it.

You catch the little one, put on the new nappy, give her a bottle and relax. Unaware of the smelly nappy. A little later your loving wife comes home and makes a beeline to your daughter to change her nappy (because she can smell the dirty nappy). That’s when your remember the old nappy and the search starts. But you are unable to smell the nappy.

The same goes for freshly baked bread or freshly brewed coffee. At first smell it smells soooo good. But after a few minutes the smell starts to fade and then disappears.

Did it really disappear?

As soon as you walk out of the room and back in again, you will find that it still smells just as good. So what happened.

Nature, and humans in particular are extraordinary. As soon as something forms part of our environment and we have identified it as nonthreatening, our brain shut it out from our perception.

We focus on the task at hand and ignore more than 80% of what is going on around us. You don’t notice your heartbeat, your body sweating, or the sound the watch makes.

But when you stand back, get out of the room, and walk back in – then you notice everuthing that’s going on.

So take some time to stand back. Stop thinking about your to do list and focus on now.

Where in your life is the nappy?

Or worse still the hot water – Realize what is going on and then take action.

Where in your life do you have your fresh bread and coffee.

What have you forgotten about, that makes your life better.

Start with the small things. A bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, some warm clothes in the winter.

Move on to the bigger things like eating out at a restaurant, having a car to drive.

And then look at the HUGE things, a loving wife and family. Having the time and health to play with your children.

And for me the biggest thing. A group hug, with your spouse at one end and a small mouth giving your cheek a kiss on the other.

Be motivated to day – To count your blessings

(and smell the nappies :-)

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Jun13

Finding Balance (Part 2)

by Ben on June 13th, 2011 at 8:26 am
Posted In: Personal Growth

In my previous post I told a story of the young man looking for the secret to success.

The secret he found was : Balance

Now the question is how do you balance your life? Do you work 1 hour and spend the next with your family?

Maybe that works for you, or maybe you think that will completely break your speed and concentration.

If you look at most of the succesfull people around you, you will notice that they all have different rythms.

They go through fases, kind of like a sine wave.

They have periods of intense work, where they focus on the task at hand, almost to the exclusion of everything and everybody else. Their work is their main goal. They get up early and go to bed late. Their families see very little of them. They are completely off balance.

But

When the job at hand is done

Then their families get them completely. They leave the work at work at focus on themselves and their loved ones. Play with their children, take their spouse out to a special little restaurant, and basically put them out of balance again.

So even though in the short run they are out of balance, in the longer term they do live a balanced life.

I don’t know what your balance is. I like my time with my daughter and my wife. So I make time for them each day. I work late at night when they go to sleep and early morning on the weekend before they awake. My balance is daily.

My brother in law is the type of person I described above. And for a long while I though he was a bad dad/workaholic husband, but now I realize that he isn’t. During the week he is a workaholic, but over the weekends he is a dad – completely. And his children adore him.

So try both ways and find the rhythm that’s right for you.

Be Motivated Today – To find your balance

 

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